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Tactful Tips for Public InteractionThere is a difficult subject we as blind people face. And that’s public perception of our capabilities. Whether it’s someone asking your dinner partner what you’d like to order off the menu, a well intentioned store clerk reminding your child to look after you and help you out, or more direct and rather rude statements, I think we’ve all experienced a moment that defines us as people and speaks for the blind community in general. I’d like to offer some scenarios and approaches that will diffuse a potentially confrontational situation and help you walk away a friendly and informative person who won’t leave the party in question with a bad taste in their mouth. Remember. You are representing the visually impaired and blind community whenever you’re in public or around others, and though that is a large responsibility, it is not one without benefit. Let’s say you’re out to dinner with friends or your spouse. If you’re comfortable with allowing your spouse to order for you (my relationship is rather old fashioned and I don’t mind), make sure to decide what you’d like before the wait staff approaches and asks what you’ll be having. However, if you wish to order for yourself and the wait staff asks your companion what you’d like, simply look at them and announce brightly, “I’d like to have the day’s special with…” This tells the staff that you’re perfectly capable of making your own decisions, you don’t have a hearing or cognitive problem, and that it’s not always the wisest to make assumptions about your patrons with disabilities. Another common problem is being offered help while en route to a particular destination. Whether it’s given unsolicited directions, or even being offered an arm to cross a street or see you to your destination, you needn’t be offended or insulted by the gesture. I look at someone offering me help the same way I would if I overheard someone looking for a particular item while shopping or trying to find a restaurant in the area. If I offer to help them and they accept, I feel good because I’m helping them and they’re able to get the information they need with minimal amounts of stress. If you don’t wish for assistance, a simple no thank you will suffice without making you appear prickly and making the person offering the help feel foolish or rude. On the other hand, if you wish to take the offered help, be aware of your surroundings and keep the route you’d intended to follow in mind. You might learn a new shortcut along the way which you can use next time. Finally, there is the really delicate situation of having the public encourage your children to take care of you. This can be interpreted one of two ways. Either the person in question assumes that you need more care and management that your child can provide, or if you’re out with your son, there’s the societal expectation that young men should take care of their parents, especially their mothers. I haven’t encountered this personally, but have heard several stories of blind parents handling it with diplomacy and tact, or of their children speaking up and saying such things as, “We do a good job of taking care of each other.” Or “Thanks, but I like to let Mom do all that work!” It takes all sorts to make up the world, and some people feel they need to be more blunt and to the point. Again, I would remind them that you can clearly state your point without becoming confrontational or aggressive. Sometimes, a quick wit and well thought out response can add a bit of humor and levity to an awkward situation and make the person think more of you as intelligent and eloquent, not just someone with a disability.
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